Trying Not to be Perfect is quite Empowering
There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish
— Michelle Obama
This holds so true in our lives. Starting from dawn to dusk, we women do so many roles. As a daughter, mother, wife, employee, we have so many areas where we not only work but also excel and prove our worth, sometimes unwillingly though because we have this ongoing and unsaid pressure on us that since we are the women we have to do this and that but with all perfection.
r lives. Starting from dawn to dusk, we women do so many roles. As a daughter, mother, wife, employee, we have so many areas where we not only work but also excel and prove our worth, sometimes unwillingly though because we have this ongoing and unsaid pressure on us that since we are the women we have to do this and that but with all perfection.
There was a time when women in our country were only confined to the four walls but today we find these lovely ladies all around; as an astronaut, as a diver or as a driver. She may be packing the lunch as a helper at somebody’s home but you never know, maybe in her spare time she is running rigorously or exercising strenuously to prepare herself for representing her country at National level…so yes, you never know the limits of a woman. Daily I see women at my organisation working so consistently and receptively. They are hard-working honest women, who yearn to be respected for their work and wish to be rewarded at the same time. They also need appreciation, not only because it will yield better results but also for making them feel and realise that they are the force behind any action. I often wonder how these ladies balance their home and work with little support back home and often compare with myself and then it gives me instant energy to work with more vigour.
Women have a lot of endurance. I realised it the first time when I was blessed with daughter. My whole life revolved around her. Then business kept me so busy that I always had this guilt of not giving her proper time. Women tend to balance everything. They want to be a perfectionist in every work they do. Now when I look at myself, I was always juggling and struggling for time. I was looking after office but back in my mind, always had this guilt of not looking after my daughters and to make up for that I used to come back from office and give them all my time because I wanted to balance.This quality of women to balance on everything is sometimes good but then over a period of time you as a woman must realise that you shouldn’t be too harsh on yourself. Take a deep breath and relax for some time. You are a beautiful soul inside out. God has given you extraordinary powers and skills but remember you can’t be doing everything with perfection and its fine to make mistakes also. The time and the minute you realise it, you empower yourself and everything around you gets subtle and resolved.
The society has tremendously changed and we are not any more of that thought process who long for a son but even today I find discrimination in people’s thoughts and ideologies when they start consoling a new mother of a girl child by saying “kya farak padta hai ladki ho gayi toh… aajkal tok ladkiyyan bhi ladkoon ke saman hein” (how does it matter if it’s a daughter, these days girls are also like sons). This is simply not acceptable.
To me, an empowered woman is not the only one who is going out and earning a good amount of money. My helper Kamla is equally or maybe more empowered than me because of the fact that she is raising her kids beautifully in absence of all the facilities, which I have. A woman who is at home 247 is also empowered. She may not be earning but then she is creating a healthy atmosphere that will facilitate others to work with a peace of mind but somewhere we forget it and start taking her for granted. It’s high time we regard her and acknowledge it with all gratitude.
The society is changing at a speedy pace. Our women are already on their way to be financially independent. I believe, now we need to work on taking this definition of women empowerment to next level and that can be done only when we change our perspective. When we want to make our women strong, let’s not make our men weaker. That shouldn’t be the strategy. Tell your sons to cry when they are in pain. Don’t tell them ladkiyoon ki tarah nahi rona hai. Let’s not have so many days in celebrating feminism. Let’s have one day for our sons too. Remember, that we can’t work towards women empowerment if we don’t have a balance in our approach.
With so many things to do and so much to look after, we tend to forget ourselves. We women, forget to love ourselves. Taking ownership of your life and giving yourself goals is very important. Start loving yourself. Love yourself for what you have done and what you are. You may be dark, short, fat but embrace your individuality. Give yourself fitness goals not for proving your worth to others but for rediscovering yourself. Be assertive yet flexible.
May be you always wanted to dance but you feel less confident because of your bulges all around. Come out of that cocoon and shake your belly. Just do it. Trust me, you will feel awesome. Pursue your dreams that you left long back. Be the new you and give wings to your dreams. Give a new definition to yourself. While people around you can define a strong woman to employ a smile on her face 247 in all circumstances, I disagree. With tears in your eyes, you still can face people. You do not really need to hide them. A woman of substance is not only economically and socially independent but she is liberated in all ways, she is a guiding force in herself. I will suggest ‘Be Unapologetically You!’ Simply yourself! Cry when you want to, laugh loud and shout when things go beyond your control. Don’t be a people pleaser.
I often fail to understand when in all public forum: philosophy is used. Maybe it sounds ornamental to ears but I say; Boss let’s keep it simple. Let me be myself and I will wonder you with the immense potential I have.
There’s a quote from Swami Vivekananda, which says all “Educate your women first and leave them to themselves; then they will tell you what reforms are necessary for them. In matters concerning them, who are you?”
About the Author
JMD of Vardhman group